Cellphones And Their Users

“Daddy, I want a new cellphone,” an eight year old kid demands his decently rich dad. “But son, you had recently bought one,” contends his decently rich dad. “The latest model that arrived in the market yesterday has a 10 megapixels camera. Moreover, I bought my last phone six months ago,” he says with all his effort to make six months sound like six decades. “OK, we will get a new one tomorrow. And give this old one to our gardener’s son. He was also saying the other day that he had got bored with his cellphone. And he wants the one with MS Office.” World in 2009.

Mobiles phones are as basic a necessity for the younger generation as controversies to Rakhi Sawant. If you don’t own a cellphone, the general notion would be that you are a son/daughter of an unemployed or something. His family conditions must be really miserable. He can’t even afford a mobile, you would hear someone saying. And if you don’t know about the latest trends, you are tagged ancient. You haven’t even heard about Nokia N60? You must be living in Stone Age, you will inevitably be informed with raised eyebrows.

For most people, buying their first cellphone brings a delight with itself that can only be compared to Bill Gates handing over his empire to you. As soon as the phone is bought, the urge of letting others know that you have actually got a new cellphone takes over. The easiest way goes something like this. You go to one of your pals who seems relatively free and talk to him for a couple of minutes, bring out your cellphone, (pretend to) watch the time and say—Oh God, I am late again. I am doomed. I will call you later. Hey I have lost your phone number. Give me your number again.” “Nice cellphone,” he would invariably say despite knowing that you would never call him. You are delighted. Mission right on track!! As long as he keeps mentioning that your cellphone looks cool, you don’t mind him calling you the ugliest creature in the world. “Thanks, bought it yesterday only.” Then you go on talking about all the features it has got. Fifteen minutes pass by. The guy in front looks anything but involved. You sense that. Now that your mission is accomplished, you tighten your tie, keep the phone in your pocket and leave in hunt of another soul who would call your cellphone great. After a week or so, everyone in your family, office and friend circle gets to know that you have got a new cellphone. Meanwhile, one of your friends apprizes you that a new phone with superior features has been launched. Now the cellphone no longer remains new to you!! Can I afford to buy a new one, your cellphone-obsessed-mind thinks. Next day, you stand in front of some cellphone showroom and ask yourself the same question. The next salary-day isn't very far away, you remind yourself.

Now a days, it's difficult to guess whether a cellphone includes camera or is it the other way round. A cellphone is now a multipurpose device---camera with all sorts of zooming facilities, FM radio, mp3 player, MS Office, palmtop and yes, I almost forgot to mention that it includes a phone as well!! The level of facility of course, depends upon the depth of your pocket, with the facility to call others being the minimum one. Wonderful. Sounds like magic. To me, at least!

There are guys who know almost everything about cellphones—the latest models, models introduced in US but yet to arrive in India, their elusive features, their prices, their reliability, their battery life—virtually everything. Living cellphone encyclopedia, in short. And you can find such guys everywhere. They might possess the most ancient cellphones but dare not question their knowledge in this particular field. If one is about to buy a cellphone, he need not surf the sites or decide right at the cellphone shop. He just needs to meet one of those guys and give him the price range. The living encyclopedia would put his index finger on his chin, look towards the window pane, calculate something in his mind and then tell you--- Nokia xxxx is your best deal. You can trust his divine words blindly, go to the shop, ask for Nokia xxxx and come back gladly. No site-surfing, no decision-making! What more—such guys are always ready to company you to the cellphone shop. Angels, they are.

My cellphone is my lifeline, people are often heard saying. They just can’t imagine taking their hands off their phones. They might be right in front of their homes but they would still call their moms and say—‘yes mom, I am coming. I hope my food is ready.’ Some of the cellphone users have lots of money in their wallet (may be in their dads’ wallet) and they would participate in every contest that needs sending an option by sms. By the end of the day, they discover that they have sent 50-odd messages with no success in those contests. And there are people who call their mates whom they had talked in person 15 minutes ago and usually the chat goes on till eternity as if they hadn't talked to each other for centuries. And there are few (like me) who keep cellphones just because they are asked to. They don’t actually need them but they use them as clocks. Yes, clocks!! They often forget to carry their cellphones with themselves, put their phones in silent mode while going to sleep and calls they miss embarrassingly outnumbers those they attend. Someone calls to one such person and says—hi, what’s up? And the inevitable reply is something like—“Nothing’s up, everything is down. Come to the point. Why did you call?” These are the kind of people whose phone bills struggle to cross Rs. 100 mark per month. Telecommunication service providers try their best to allure such people to use their cellphones more often but they just refuse to talk. For them, cellphones are strictly SOS messaging protocol. When one of such persons (read: Abhieshek) goes to pay his sub-Rs100 bill at the service provider’s office (in case, it’s post paid), the bill collector almost bursts into laughter and is tempted to ask—‘How much did you actually spend to reach our office? I reckon it was threateningly close to your monthly bill. Wasn’t it?’ Thank God, the bill collectors are polite and understanding enough to refrain themselves from asking such mortifying questions. I love bill collectors!!

Students' Politics

The much awaited Delhi University Students’ Union Elections (for Delhi University students, of course) are over and the results are out as well. Last year’s results have almost repeated itself, just that the vice-president’s post managed to hop from the grasp of National Students’ Union of India (NSUI) to Akhil Bhartiya Vidyarthi Parishad’s (ABVP). Rest three posts were secured by NSUI. Reasons for ABVP’s debacle and NSUI’s thumping victory are not too tough to predict---The support of in-power Congress government (home and state) led by Sheila Dixit to NSUI respectively played massive and in fact, critical role in their overwhelming success. The nod of Sheila Dixit to enhance accident insurance for all the DU students and better residing facilities for the students of north-west campus, which forms a major vote bank, ensured NSUI’s victory.

On the other hand, BJP-RSS-fed-ABVP never looked like winning any post at all. The only consolation they received was a nail-biting finish in an eventual triumph in the tussle for vice-presidency post---that too by a whisker; a margin of mere 35 votes. How close the decision for this post was can be rendered by the fact that as many as 85,000 students study in DU.

The seriousness of this Delhi University can be felt by the involvement of the biggies of the political parties like BJP and Congress. Forsooth, the ruling party in the centre has always played pivotal role in DU elections. Candidates for the posts are wisely chosen keeping the castes of the candidates in mind, each and every movement of the opposition activists are closely monitored, piles of money flow for securing every vote, foul games are played, and then after careful planning by the leading names in Indian politics, the activists campaign (in form of their candidates’ posters being pasted on every bus stop, candidates making personal visits to students who can influence other students, forcing and in some cases, bribing students) for their respective candidates to transform all the sweat, used (and misused) money into eventual success. DU forms a massive students’ community with a population of 85,000 which, by any standards, is a colossal number. Even 40% polling attendance this year meant 34,000 votes were cast!!

The victory of Congress-backed NSUI somehow corroborates the fact that anti-reservation movement has failed to hit DU. The mass movement is, in fact, restricted to professional courses like medicine and engineering. The chief Congress players of this election are tirelessly boasting that the victory of Congress-backed candidates has confirmed that students are glad with the decision of the government to move on with the quota system. They see as a major triumph among the students’ community. Rubbish, all rubbish!!!

The involvement of the political parties substantiates, on the first hand, that foul games would be played and unfortunately, the worst-hit people in this diplomatic game are students. A very small community of students is actually interested in what happens during these elections. The issues handled by these winning candidates are too superficial to carry on elections on such a mass scale. Electric voting machines are installed which have been introduced in our Lok Sabha elections only a couple of years ago. Yes, the students are surely given the right to choose their candidates but what these candidates are supposed to do is still enigmatic. College-bands is a usual affair during election days. Students are virtually forced, in one way or the other (read: emotionally and financially), to vote for a particular candidate. Some succumb to the pressure and eventually play the role of puppets in the hands of the activists. Most of the students who avidly take part in these elections are not really students but stay in colleges just for these election-seasons. Not surprisingly, the true winners of these elections are the political parties. It is their way of rendering who holds the key of youth-power in Delhi. Certainly a very sorry state for the Delhi University students.

The Ad Effect

You reach your home after a tiresome day in the office. You throw your bag and yourself on the wooden chair and cozy sofa respectively. (Few might be doing the other way around as well, none of my business though) You send your eyeballs on a walk for searching TV’s remote control; you, as usual, can’t find it at the proper place; you ask your wife to hand over the remote to you. She comes out of the chicken…err.. I mean kitchen, lifts the remote from the same place where you had just explored, gives you the remote with a furious look; you desperately avoid looking at her; you turn the TV on and the drama starts!

Your cable operator gives you the privilege of enjoying hundred-odd channels. The actual number of channels you actually go though can be counted on fingers. Anyway, so you surf the channel to watch the live action of India versus West Indies One day cricket match at St. John’s Park, Antigua in the Caribbean. The match is, as usual, delayed by the frequent thunderstorm there. You watch Arun Lal and Laxman Shivramakrishnan fighting over why Dravid should choose bowling first in overcast conditions if and when the match starts. Suddenly, Sanjay Manjrekar intervenes and says that they would be right back after a short break. a sigh of relief for everyone. You hate the face and voice of Arun Lal and L Shivramakrishnan. Disappointed by the delay in the live action, you use your remote again---this time to Aajtak where you see a villainous face talking about a ghost in suburb of Assam who arrives every time he listens to a Himesh Reshammiya song. You curse the channel and your finger plays again on the button of the remote control to surf other news channels. You discover that the story is not so different in other news channels either. Just the faces of the villainous reporters have changed but the basic news remains unaltered. Star News talks with Madan Lal Khurana who lost his pet dog recently while reporter in Zee News is busy trying to settle the divorce issue of a couple. You can’t handle it anymore. You move on. In between, Star Plus and Zee TV arrive. You hastily pass through them without rendering any interest in learning whether it is Tulsi or Parvati who is crying lakes, whether it is Komolika or xyz (sorry I don’t know names) who is plotting yet another deadly plan to snatch away the leading lady’s husband. It is actually fun for the show’s leading man who seems to be in a to-n-fro motion from the vamp’s arms to leading lady’s!!! Time taken for this shift is about 50 episodes which is more or less constant for every Ekkta Kkapoor soap opera.

You think of turning the TV off but since you don’t want to face your leading lady who happens to be your wife, you keep TV on. You spend some time guessing what you can watch on TV. Suddenly, a brilliant idea strikes you and you start searching a channel that shows advertisements! Oh yes, ads are the best shows on the TV. Hilarious and short!! One can develop a full story in a 20 second ad which Ekkta Kkapoor might fail to do in 20 episodes of Kkahaani Ghar Ghar Kki.

You watch a proud semi-nude Shah Rukh Khan in a bathtub surrounded by actresses from every age group—right from Hema Malini to Kareena Kapoor. He opens his arms to let his audience know how great he feels while using Lux International. The ladies around him pass contrived smiles. And they want us to buy the soap. Great show SRK and the ladies.

There arrives Virender Sehwag in Reliance’s ad. It still remains a mystery whether his explosive batting or this ad makes him more (un)popular. Let’s see this one. Sehwag is on the crease; six runs to get from the last delivery of the innings (I am not so sure how many times he survives to face the last ball in the innings). Anyway, Sehwag looks tensed, not because he can’t hit a six but because of the monstrous physique of the bowler. He badly wants to win the game for his team but doesn’t know how. Meanwhile, his mother is tensed as well. She sends a call to his sweating son. He doesn’t have the cellphone but someone throws the phone from outside as if it were a cricket ball. The cellphone is good enough to maintain itself in one piece despite being thrown. Sehwag picks it up, listens to some inspiring words from his mother and hits the bowler out of the ground. His team wins, everybody is happy and Sehwag wants us to use Reliance Mobile…why?? Because it helped him win the match!!! Fantastic ad.. Hats off to the composer of this ad. I would like to meet him just to make sure he doesn’t live anymore to create such bizarre ideas.

But forsooth, the two ads which stirred Indian television were Dabur-lal-dant-manjan’s and Lijjat-paapad’s. A young boy, Raju, is in his classroom. The teacher asks him how his teeth shine like pearls. “Arey raju, tumhare daant toh motiyon se bhi tez chamakte hain?” The boy replies—“Kyon na ho masterji, main roz dabur lal dant manjan se jo brush karta hoon.” Raju then sings—“Daanto ki kare hifazat moti sa chamkaye...dabur laal dant manjan se mukhada khil khil jaaye.” It is one of the first few ads people watched on the TV screen. It actually enhanced the sales of this product many folds.

The ad industry which actually needs to work on rendering how a product can make one’s life better and how it is better than its rival companies is working upon showing celebrity faces in the 20 second space! I wonder how much it actually works. Anyway, no matter how poor these ads might be, the fact is that it still is a better idea to watch commercial ads than those shabby soap operas on the screen. Enjoy the show!!!

P.S This is the lighter version of The Ad Effect. I would come up with a much serious version in a couple of days. Till then, enjoy the show!! Err…I mean ads. On your TV, of course.

49.5%

49.5% - This number has succeeded in bewildering and to some extent, scaring masses over the last couple of weeks. Though I wished to write about it just after the declaration of this vicious reservation policy, I took my time to hunt the pros and cons assorted to it. I googled and came out with some interesting but blue results.

Let us first see what exactly this reservation policy holds in its core. I will not reserve myself just talking about 27% reservation for what they call OBCs but include few issues related to 22.5% reservation for SC/ST category as well. This highly-talked-about idea of reservation of seats in different institutions handled by government was first pronounced by Dr. B R Ambedkar, the creator of our constitution. It might be an interesting fact for few people that Dr. B R Ambedkar himself was a part of the backward section of the newly independent Indian society. He had probably witnessed the problems that the people of his community suffered with and hence, thought of erasing those problems by aiding them with this reservation policy. When this policy was first implemented, it was decided that it would be ceased once those socially backward people come at par with the non-backward section of the society.

No problems till now! Indian society moved on with this reservation policy and the backwards went on enjoying the reservation and slowly we reached the stage while V P Singh was enjoying his few golden years of his life as the PM of the largest democracy. Mandal commission had submitted its report about the socially backward and uneducated class of the society in 1980 and based upon it, reservation was supposed to be implemented during V P Singh’s era.

Let us see what Mr. B P Mandal had to say about Indian society. According to him, there are as many as 3743 castes and communities belonging to the OBC category which constitutes 52% of the Indian population. Moreover, it was already declared that around 25% of Indian population belongs to SC/ST category. So, class 2 Mathematics says that around 75% of Indian population is backward%, oh yes you read it correctly, 75%. Fantastic result! Isn’t it? There are few more such antic results to follow. Carry on.

There are 11 indicators which form the backbone of the results of the Mandal Commission. They are subdivided into 3 categories—Social, Educational and Economic. The 11 indicators for deciding OBCs are:

Social

• Castes/classes considered as socially backward by others.
• Castes/classes which mainly depend on manual labor for their livelihood.
• Castes/classes where the percentage of married women below 17 is 25% above the state average in rural areas and 10% in urban areas; and that of married men is 10% and 5% above the state average in rural and urban areas respectively.
• Castes/classes where participation of females in work is at least 25% above the state average.

Educational

• Castes/classes where the number of children in the age group of 5 to 15 years who never attended school is at least 25% above the state average.
• Castes/classes where the rate of student drop-out in the age group of 5-15 years is at least 25% above the state average.
• Castes/classes amongst whom the proportion of matriculates is at least 25% below the state average

Economic

• Castes/classes where the average value of family assets is at least 25% below the state average.
• Castes/classes where the number of families living in kachcha houses is at least 25 % above the state average.
• Castes/classes where the source of drinking water is beyond half a kilometer for more than 50% of the households.
• Castes/classes where the number of the house-holds having taken a consumption loan is at least 25% above the state average.

Though these indicators may sound perfectly normal at first look to many people, it has a number of loopholes which can be (and are!) easily exploited. Few of the above mentioned points are quite acceptable but some of them are very hazy and hence, controversial.

In 1990, the amendment in the constitution for 27% reservation was proposed in the Parliament but it broke the backbone of the government and Mr. V P Singh had to eventually resign.

Everything settled down. No reservation for OBCs but SC/ST categories continued enjoying the gratifying 22.5% reservation. 2006 arrives and this time, Arjun Singh comes up with a similar proposal for 27% reservation for OBC students in government educational institutions including IITs and IIMs. Here again, furor and protests rose from every corner of India. People who advocate this policy argue that this reservation policy for the OBCs would eventually lead to upgradation of the socially and economically backward section of the society. On the other hand, people who protest this policy say that it would dilute the high standards which these education institutions have set over the last fifty years. No denials. Valid points from both the sections!

Let’s see the crux of the problem. A generally-category-student scores 75 marks in a highly competitive entrance examination only to lose the seat to a reserved-category-student who scored mere 55. Result—that general-category-student will never be satisfied with this policy of undue inclination towards a reserved-category-student. It will obviously germinate the seeds of hatred against students obtaining preference over him. Moreover, the institution has to admit a student who is less meritorious than few others students who wrote the examination. The only gainer seems to be the student who enjoys the admission in the dandy institution just because he belongs to SC/ST/OBC category. Talking about the profit of the nation, it gained a student who is far less meritorious; it gained the hatred against reserved people and thus, disunity! Nation got richer!!!

But, is that the end of the story? No, not at all! Let’s confer what that student confronts once he enters the high-profile institution. He is asked to keep pace with those students who scored around 90 in the entrance examination. The result is quite obvious. He finds it difficult to match the demands of a cruel environment and generally falls behind. In some cases, he even struggles to secure the degree in the specified duration. Is this the kind of progress they look for??? I wonder!

The scenario is not very different in other fields as well. Even in jobs, they scramble against people who are much more meritorious. But, there is an interesting result to follow. Among people having annual earnings more than Rs. 50,000 in government jobs, the average salary of a SC/ST category person is nearly twice of that of a general category person, thanks to ultra-quick promotions through reservation policy. Though it contributes to better lives for reserved people at the expense of general category people, what nation loses is the service of people who are much more meritorious.

The problem is that the fruits of this policy never reach the section of the society that really needs it. It is always enjoyed by the richer section of the reserved class which has the capability to earn bread on its own. The poorer class is always deprived of the yields of this policy and thus, its condition never changes. In fact, it always shifts from bad to worse.

But the million dollars is question is—what is the solution of this problem? How can both these issues be taken care of? We can’t ignore one of them for the sake of other. It is a well known truth that merit is not the sole property of the forward section of the society. If given a chance, the backward class can also gain the skills needed to match shoulders in different spheres. So, there should be certain reservation for the economically backward people (in form of certain seat reservation and free education) at the primary level, say primary schools, so that they get equal opportunities to read and write and learn and as the person moves to the higher levels, the reservation should be gradually diminished so that it results to absolutely zero reservation when it comes to job prospects. This option serves the socially and economically backward section of the society without the interest of the forward class being hampered. Moreover, the nation will also gain the best hands to serve it. I sincerely hope that such an environment shapes up where every person of the society, no matter which class or creed or section he belongs to, gets fair and equal opportunity and that will be in the best interest of the nation.

Different Angle

It’s amazing how life can change in a matter of few days. If you don’t agree with me, ask Ganguly. These days, he is the most eligible person to answer such queries. I had vowed not to write upon Ganguly saga. But this guy is creating headlines just too often. And the fact is that ‘love him or hate him but you just can’t ignore Ganguly’. This poor chap got everything wrong when he opened his mouth against Chappell after scoring an uncharacteristically irksome century against a hapless Zimbabwe attack. And that opened the floodgates for him. The person who was at the helm of reviving this ‘Team India’ suddenly finds himself struggling to secure his place in the team in both formats of the game and everyone interested in Indian cricket wants to know if it is the end of a prolific career. When the sky is blue, grass green and a team winning for fun, who cares about an individual!

Every Ganguly supporter, whether in Kolkata or England, believes that it is Chappell who devilled Ganguly’s empire. And what interests me is the fact that it is Ganguly who advocated Chappell’s nomination as the coach. Moreover, Ganguly himself had flown to Sydney a couple of years ago to take tips from Chappell for tackling short deliveries. We will never know what exactly happened during that short two months tenure of Chappell as coach that made him and Ganguly, the ‘captain’, the fiercest enemies. The reasons may vary from an elementary case of clash of egos to a relatively graver problem of absolute desire of securing throttling hold over the team.

Every single player in the team knew that Ganguly was struggling with his form and being the captain was the only factor that patronized his presence in the team. But no one dared to come forward to question his selection. But disaster always finds its way to creep into one’s life. This time around, it chose the victim itself to mend catastrophe’s path. Ganguly’s outcry on the occasion of a dead century was just one of those incidents. Too many things changed in a matter of few months against Ganguly’s liking. Leakage of Chappell’s ‘secret’ letter to BCCI President, Sharad Pawar’s emphatic victory against Dalmiya (Ganguly’s blind supporter) in BCCI elections, change in the faces constituting the selection panel and a sudden ascend in the performance of newcomers in the team made it virtually impossible for Ganguly to plot his comeback in the team. Moreover, Ganguly didn’t favor himself by bunking domestic matches citing one reason or the other. And the irony is that he was forced to compete against those players whom he had fought for in selection meetings during his regime. Kaif was preferred over him in one day internationals while Yuvraj displaced Ganguly in the test team. Even in one of the domestic test matches, Zaheer Khan, whom he backed so strongly, gifted him a ‘pair’ to make his case even weaker. How cruel life can be!

One can find half-burnt posters of Chappell on almost every street of Kolkata. Everyone claims him to be the source of Ganguly’s fiasco. But an interesting point is that Dravid might also be one of the masterminds behind all this drama. I know he has been a great servant of Indian cricket. He is, in fact, the best test batsmen India has ever produced and I rate him even higher than Sachin Tendulkar and Sunil Gavaskar in test cricket and I am no authority to suspect his commitment towards Indian team but the bottom-line is that the urge for limelight and power can make even the calmest person go mad.

It is no secret that Dravid has always lived in the shadows of Indian greats like Tendulkar and Ganguly and off late, of Sehwag. Ganguly and he debuted in the same game but he always fell behind when it came to the task of creating headlines. During late nineties and early part of the millennium, Ganguly reached the peak of his career and was considered among the best batsmen of his era. Despite playing as vital a role as those of Tendulkars and Gangulys, Dravid never got the same acclaim. He always played the role of second fiddle to other slam-bam players and thus the limelight was always attracted by everybody but him. His nature of batting was not compatible with those cricket lovers who visit grounds just to see sixes being hit. He has always done his job in tranquility and has always been the background color of colorful Indian cricket’s portrait. And suddenly he finds himself at the core of the Indian team with everything going his way. Now he is the captain of a team which is on an unprecedented winning streak. With everything falling into place, he is now acclaimed as a ‘thinking captain’ and is applauded for everything he does; be it taking the bold step of opening in the test matches or experimenting with the youths. He now bubbles with enthusiasm and is even ready to play the lead roles. He finds a Tendulkar who is struggling with his injuries, a Ganguly who is almost at the end of his career and a team that looks forward to him as an icon. The stage is set for him. He just needs to crush his ‘rival’ who is already on the floor. And his knack of playing his role in the background can pay him rich dividends in this field. He might prefer to hide himself in another shadow; this time in that of Chappell who has already earned some ‘popularity’ due to his open revolt against Ganguly regime. Dravid might not have staged the downfall of Ganguly but he might be eager to erase his name from future Indian team for his own sake. And he might be considering Chappell as the right person to use for his own benefit; Dravid’s words from Chappell’s mouth! I won’t be surprised if after his retirement, Dravid writes in his autobiography about the ways he used to debacle his opponents; be it Australia or Pakistan or Ganguly! Still water runs deep. Doesn’t it?

I know such an idea is somewhat difficult for diehard Dravid fans (including me) to swallow but I would advise them to hire a time machine and go back to year 2000 when Hansie Cronje surprised everybody by accepting that he indeed accepted money to lose matches. Wasn’t that a similar shock? Who could have imagined such a great ambassador of the game to be a crook? That’s what separates human beings from other organisms--Unpredictability! One should take nothing for granted. The unlikeliest and most grievous probability values are 0 and 1. And Dravid might be the perfect example for the word 'unpredictability'. But then, there is always a word ‘might’…

Great Indian Dream

They say that India is not just another country; it is a culture, it is an adherence, it is a festival, it is a pleasure. But how true are those words? We talk about our freedom in the country, we take pride in unity-in-diversity hymn and we boast of the fact that we are the largest democracy in the world. But when we dare to go deep into the ocean of facts, we see a different picture altogether. Majority of our population is plagued by poverty; the general happiness rating of India is incredibly low; North Indians disdain South Indians and the other way around.

It’s amazing how eagerly we wait for the arrival of 15^th August or 26^th January so that we can enjoy few extra hours of sleep in the morning. It’s astonishing how badly the ‘sentiments’ of religious leaders are hurt when Salman Rushdie writes “Satanic Verses” and then fatwa is declared against him. It’s surprising how much we talk about the great works of Gandhi and then criticize all the paths shown by him. It’s dispiriting how we spend hours watching news on the TV concerning a natural calamity in Kashmir and then hesitate to donate Rs 10 in the relief fund.

We always think that saluting our National Flag and singing National Anthem twice a year, supporting Indian cricket team in a game against Pakistan and calling ourselves Indians are the only ways of showing our respect towards our so called great India. These days, everyone has drowned himself into the colors that Rang De Basanti has brought with itself. Everybody is acclaiming the way Aamir Khan utters “behen de takki” in his dandy Punjabi accent and the way those five youths enjoyed their lives in Delhi and the path they chose to bring justice to a dead pilot whom they called their friend. But do we really care if the path that those five “revolutionaries” chose was correct? Is killing a criminal the only way to bring justice to those who are victims of his barbarism? In fact, is it really a way to punish a criminal? I firmly believe that killing a criminal is not at all the way to penalize him. The only way is to make him realize that he committed a crime and then asking him to rectify his mistake (or crime) in every possible way. Furthermore, how many criminals can one kill to purify the polluted Indian air? There is no end to this vicious ‘litigation’.

Moreover, the climax of the movie spreads a futile message in the audience. I can’t understand why those five young men chose to sacrifice themselves. Was it just for the sake of resembling the incident with one that occurred in the case of Bhagat Singh and company? The director and the script writer of the movie must understand that in this era, no war is won by dying. The person himself should accomplish the task of revolutionizing the environment. India is a place where sacrifices of Gandhi and Bhagat Singh are not recalled; leave aside those of five unknown names. Sacrifices like those create headlines for two days; TV channels interview their relatives for a week; general public remember their names for a fortnight and then everything boils down to the ground level. After a month, people struggle to recall if anything like that had occurred.

Nobody understands the pain of others until a person himself goes through such dreadful events. Even those five guys realized the fire inside them only when they felt the pain in their respective souls. Nevertheless, it is certainly a movie that can make us talk to our scruples and realize that there is no point in watching impotently everything going wrong around us. We need to make a sound and ‘legal’ stand against something functioning improperly in the system, for it is our responsibility to bring back the lost pride of our lovely country. We can’t afford to leave the job for others to complete. We need to recognize that every issue of national interest is as important as our personal issues; in fact, more important than our personal issues.

We dream of other nations acclaiming India as a developed and rich country. But the first step towards this trip is to realize that others will never respect us if we ourselves don’t show respect towards our country and our people. We need not be revolutionists or freedom fighters to turn that bold Indian dream into realism. If each one of us can change our attitude towards looking into a problem and can motivate ourselves to work out that problem in a sensible manner, we can see a new India in the horizon. Rights and duties go hand in hand and are inter-related. If every one of us starts performing his part of the job honestly and correctly, then that great India is just around the corner. I wish to live in that happy India and I am sure you too. Can’t we vow to contribute to this Indian dream, can’t we lend our hands for this Indian desire, can’t we devote our time to make India a better place to live at, can’t we gift the coming generations a developed India? We surely can!!!

Meanwhile...

“Please God! Just ask that bloody prof to produce a lenient question paper for this Major. I need few more marks to pass this course. Please help me this time, one last time. Please!” I talked to my God in a whispering voice with closed eyes, sinking into my favorite third bench from the right in the second last row. There was a whole bunch of guys going through the same process. I looked around and the nervous look on their faces made me feel a bit better. I was not alone in that terrorizing Ex-hall. I looked at one of my mates and we shared an anxious smile. There were few girls as well, with apprehensive looks and I was badly trying to avoid fronting them, for I was there to debar a probable F grade while those maidens were concerned about their inevitable A grades. My classmates were assaying to seat themselves in a definite, plotted arrangement in order to write their papers with a collective effort, using every bit of available resources. It is one of those rare events while the most barbaric foes conduct like trustworthy allies.

The examination hour started and I tried to figure out the known words in the question paper. It hardly took me any time to sample out the questions which I could attempt in my bare answer book. I commenced tardily, for I knew that my fast pace could result in ‘completion’ of my paper in half an hour or so. Despite my best effort, I couldn’t carry on for more than three quarters of an hour. Even after innumerous verifications of my neat attempts in the answer book, I have had more than an hour left to spend. And this is usually the time when my philosophical mind generates weirdest doctrines, my mechanical brain points out the ‘Centre of Mass’ of each and every fan attached to the roof, my secular heart criticizes those useless examinations, my athirst taste buds desire a cup of really hot coffee and my heavy eyelids seek a nap.

I looked around if others had also hit the same patch. The murmur in the air affirmed that my mates were busy catching the informative waves from each and every corner of Ex-hall. Periodic cautionary outcries from the prof muted the mutter. But, every single time prof left the arena for one reason or the other, it regained its lost intensity. The students tried every trick in their Holy Book to gain few more marks which they can boast of. The apt use of calculators for ‘mugging up’ formulae, the ingenious practice of copying each and every letter of bulky books to mere pieces of paper and summing up the juicy facts on the palm can bring shame upon the smartest cheats.

In the meantime, there were few students who served as the centers of scare and hopelessness for guys like yours truly. Their frequent demand for extra answer sheets created furor in the hearts of rest of the examinees. The speed at which their pens slipped on the paper made me wonder if the answers were so lengthy. They wrote as if they would be stoned after the examination.

The end of the examination was more of a sigh of relief for me than anything else. As soon as the prof snatched the answer book from my hand, my eyes started searching for my mates whom I believed had fared more or less like me. Every eye contact was followed by spooky smiles. We gathered at one corner of the Ex-hall.

“Fuck yaar! Despite such puppy questions I couldn’t answer them because I had not mugged the formulae”, one of us tried to explain the toughness level of the questions.
“Oye! Will you keep your mouth shut? We all know how much you knew”- another one among us shouted at him in frustration.
“Yaar”, uttered another fellow, “you didn’t help me at all in the paper. It wasn’t expected of you.”
“I myself was clueless yaar! Moreover, you were sitting too far from me to pass the answers in any form.”
“Will you all stop all this nonsense? It is now past and there is no point talking about it. We should be thinking about the next paper. Why don’t you people understand?”-- I came up with my practical philosophy.
“Haan yaar, you are right. We have a fighter paper to face tomorrow. And I haven’t even looked at the course content. I might be awarded a fakka. Let’s move.”

We headed towards our hostel knowing that we all would enjoy a long session of sleep just after reaching our respective rooms, no matter how fighter the next examination was!

The F word

Perhaps one of the most interesting words in English language today is the word fuck. Of all the English words that begin with the letter "F", fuck is the only word that is referred to as "the F word". It's the one magical word. Just by its sound, it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. Fuck, as most words in English language, is derived from a German word "frichen" which means “to strike”. In English, fuck falls into many grammatical categories. As a transitive verb, for instance,--"John fucks Sherley". As an intransitive verb—“Sherley fucks”. Its meaning is not always sexual. It can be used as an adjective such as--"John's doing all the fucking work", as part of an adverb--"Sherley talks too fucking much", as an adverb enhancing an adjective--"Sherley is fucking beautiful", as a noun--"I don't give a fuck", as a part of a word--"Absofuckinglutely" or "Infuckincredible", and as almost every word in the sentence--"Fuck the fucking fuckers". As you must realize, there aren't too many words with the versatility of "fuck" as in these examples describing situations such as

• Fraud -- I got fucked with this used car a lot.
• Dismay -- Oh! Fuck it.
• Trouble -- I guess I am really fucked now.
• Aggression -- Don't fuck with me, buddy.
• Difficulty -- I don't understand this fucking question.
• Inquiry -- Who the fuck was that?
• Dissatisfaction -- I don’t like what the fuck is going on here.
• Diffidence -- He is a fuck off.
• Dismissal -- Why don’t you go outside and play "hide and go fuck yourself"?

I am sure you can think of many more examples. With all these multipurpose applications, how can anyone be offended when you use this word? We say use this unique flexible word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately. So use this word loudly and proudly!!!

Thanks to Google for all the fucking information…

Is beauty just skin deep?

"How will I fare in a popularity contest in IIT?” asked one of my friends, who is, by far, the most gorgeous female I have ever come across. I had absolutely no reply to her inquiry because I knew that she would win the contest by a long distance. Such is the influence of nifty faces in this materialistic world. It's not that she interacts with every person in IIT but, it is the shine on the face that attracts the people around. After all, who doesn't want to see a good face!

I was going through one of the forwarded emails the other day that compared Sania Mirza, the latest tennis sensation and Koneru Humpy. Are you wondering who Humpy is? If yes, then please note that she is the present world number 2 player in international women's chess arena and more importantly, she is among the very few Indian women who represent India on international sports platform. The article talked about Sania being every youngster's dream girl and how curiously people wanted to know about her favorite cuisine, music and color and the words printed on her T-shirt while Humpy, with mediocre looks, being an unknown name despite achieving similar, if not greater success than Sania. The same story fits other fields as well. Despite having nominal acting capabilities, Angelina Jolie continues to find herself among the highest paid actresses. People with good looks always attract limelight.

It is true that looks is the first aspect one considers during the first meet with a person. People tend to make assumptions about the behavior and thinking of the people on the basis of their very first look. And thus, the face contributes to one's first impression. Even the word personality consists of the word persona which, in Latin, means mask. Though, strictly speaking, according to psychology, personality is a collection of emotion, looks, thought and behavior patterns unique to a person.

Researchers have come up with theories such as Halo effect revealing that attractive people tend to be more intelligent, better adjusted, and more popular. Yes, I know that not many people would be convinced by this theory but that's the story narrated by the research guys. Even the people related with psychology of beauty believe that good looking people achieve more occupational success than their not-so-attractive counterparts.

The phrase "Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder" is losing its significance in this era. It's pity that we constitute a society which lays high emphasis on physical appearances of people. And thanks to media and audience, this theory doesn't look like taking a U-turn. After all, no one wants to see baleful faces in TV commercials. Moreover, media has corroborated that attractive faces sell. This is why companies manufacturing cosmetics are big hits in the field of business. Every time you visit a parlor, you will always find people suggesting bleach or a hair color or a facial to improve your looks. And the worst part is that more often than not, we start caring their words and fall prey to their ideas.

But, is this world so unfair to moderate-looking-people? No!!! Certainly not. There are few luxuries which good looking people enjoy but at the end of the day, it is the way people carry themselves that counts. Looks can often be misleading. And assumptions made on the basis of looks may go wrong. One might be the most pleasing face on the planet, but if he/she doesn't have a clean heart and a fair soul, that look won't transmit him/her to the ultimate goal of life. What do you say?

Foreign Approval

It was only when Amartya Sen received 1998 Nobel Prize in Stolkholm for his work in the field of economics that we discovered the genius inside him.

When Bill Gates makes a statement about IITs, it dominates the headlines of The Times of India while a similar Narayan Murthy or Vinod Khosla comment evaporates away unnoticed.

Indian government waited for ICC's nomination of Sachin Tendulkar as the player of the year to honour this champion with Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna award, given the fact that India has hardly produced any world beater in a game other than cricket.

Satyajit Ray received Padma Vibhushan only after he was rewarded with all the prestigious worldwide film awards, right from Golden Berlin Bear in Germany to Golden Palm in Cannes.

All these above mentioned facts connote that we always need a foreign stamp to corroborate whether a particular person or institution or even an event is worth praising or not. It appears that we have lost faith in our ability to rationalize the immensity associated with something or someone. We constitute one fifth of the world in terms of the number of human bodies but these bodies mean nothing more than lifeless, dead creatures if we can't use our ability to express the greatness of our people and the graveness of our events. We appreciate a B grade English movie but hesitate to call a genuinely good Bollywood movie good. This diffidence is a consequence of our blind faith in alien products and people, and our inability to define eminence. We may be producing the best hands for all walks of life but at the end of the day, it is self-recognition that can firm our feet during a storm.

A colossus in making

Yeh world hai na world, yahan do type ke log hote hain. ek jo zero se start karke 100 tak jaate hain. Dusre jo 100 se start karke bas aage chalte hi jaate hain.

Irfan Pathan finds himself in the second league, certainly an elite one. His brave 93 on a tough Kotla strip just made his case stronger. Since his very first series in Australia at an early age of 18, he has improved leaps and bounds and it seems there is no end. Sky is the limit.

Not too many bowlers get a chance to make their debut on fast, relatively bowler friendly pitches with some bounce like that in Adelaide. The manner in which he deceived Matthew Hayden with a beautiful away going delivery to earn his first test wicket was just a glimpse of a star in making. Though he ended up with a match figure of 1/160, he impressed the pundits with his lethal swinging deliveries. On any other day with some luck, he would have easily come up with a five wicket haul. But that was just the beginning of an audacious tour for him. He was the highest wicket taker in the one day series with a bagful of 20 wickets in 10 matches. Not a bad show!

But the big one was just around the corner. The Pakistan tour. India had never won a test match on Pakistan soil, leave aside a test series victory. Cometh the opportunity, cometh the man! The heroics of the batsmen made sure that Indians were not losing the test series. But batsmen can only save a test match. It is the bowlers who win the game for the team. Irfan, yet again, showed his hunger for wickets and demolished the Pakistani top order by picking up 12 wickets in the series on pitches that responded only to batsmen and few spinners, but certainly not to the fast bowlers. One can understand the biased nature of the pitches by the mere fact that as many as 7 centuries were scored in the 3 test series including a majestic 270 by Dravid and a mammoth 309 by Sehwag. He even showed his potential with a bat in his hands and scored a crafty 49 in the second test match. But the party was not yet over for Pathan in that tour. It seemed that everything was going right for the man. He played a crucial role in the ODI series victory. He spearheaded the Indian bowling attack thoughout the tour. Such is the influence of media in this part of the world that even a modest effort can lift you to a height never achieved before. He became a hero overnight and was a household name in less than two months.

But, the higher you fly, the faster you fall. After a successful season, he seemed to have lost the touch. In the very next season, the ball stopped swinging for him and the same person started looking like a club bowler. There was murmuring in the media about Pathan being just another bowler who bowled brilliantly in few matches and then faded away. But success is how high you bounce after hitting the bottom. After a lean patch of six odd months, he came back with a handy performance against Bangaladesh and Zimbabwe. Though those performances against minnows were nothing to boast about, those late swinging deliveries had started working for him again. He had started plotting those beautiful curves with the ball again. Those performances certainly induced confidence into him. The man was back. It was the time Greg Chappell started experimenting with the team with Irfan being at the core of experimentation. Not only did he bowl brilliantly under the guidance of wily Chappell, he also came good with the bat. He has started showing the glimpses of being an allrounder. His half centuries every now and then confirms his potential as a batsman. The confidence with which he played Murali can make a top order batsman proud. He has come up with performance everytime Chappell and Dravid experimented with him. Be it batting at number 3 in ODIs or opening in tests, he has grabbed the opportunities with both hands. He has taken batting higher in the order like a duck to water. One can sense the potential in this man while he bats. He has more than a decent technique to succeed with head right on top of the ball, playing closer to the body with still head and eyes on the ball while making contact. He is not a pinch hitter who goes out, lofts the ball over the rope for a couple of times and gets out. Once he passes 20 run mark, he looks to play safely like a top order batsman trying to convert those 20's into 50's and 50's into 80's.

Though it is very early to tag him as an allrounder, he is certainly not just another tailender. The captain and the coach needs to groom him as a potential batter and should let him flourish. His bowling has improved day in and day out. He is learning the tricks to bowl on murderous subcontinent pitches. He is not a Mcgrath when it comes to machine bowling and he is not a Shoaib or a Lee when it comes to bowling fast. But he has certainly bowled well within his limitations. He has a thinking head on his shoulders and given the talent he has, it seems that this man will serve Indian cricket for a long long time.