The Ad Effect

You reach your home after a tiresome day in the office. You throw your bag and yourself on the wooden chair and cozy sofa respectively. (Few might be doing the other way around as well, none of my business though) You send your eyeballs on a walk for searching TV’s remote control; you, as usual, can’t find it at the proper place; you ask your wife to hand over the remote to you. She comes out of the chicken…err.. I mean kitchen, lifts the remote from the same place where you had just explored, gives you the remote with a furious look; you desperately avoid looking at her; you turn the TV on and the drama starts!

Your cable operator gives you the privilege of enjoying hundred-odd channels. The actual number of channels you actually go though can be counted on fingers. Anyway, so you surf the channel to watch the live action of India versus West Indies One day cricket match at St. John’s Park, Antigua in the Caribbean. The match is, as usual, delayed by the frequent thunderstorm there. You watch Arun Lal and Laxman Shivramakrishnan fighting over why Dravid should choose bowling first in overcast conditions if and when the match starts. Suddenly, Sanjay Manjrekar intervenes and says that they would be right back after a short break. a sigh of relief for everyone. You hate the face and voice of Arun Lal and L Shivramakrishnan. Disappointed by the delay in the live action, you use your remote again---this time to Aajtak where you see a villainous face talking about a ghost in suburb of Assam who arrives every time he listens to a Himesh Reshammiya song. You curse the channel and your finger plays again on the button of the remote control to surf other news channels. You discover that the story is not so different in other news channels either. Just the faces of the villainous reporters have changed but the basic news remains unaltered. Star News talks with Madan Lal Khurana who lost his pet dog recently while reporter in Zee News is busy trying to settle the divorce issue of a couple. You can’t handle it anymore. You move on. In between, Star Plus and Zee TV arrive. You hastily pass through them without rendering any interest in learning whether it is Tulsi or Parvati who is crying lakes, whether it is Komolika or xyz (sorry I don’t know names) who is plotting yet another deadly plan to snatch away the leading lady’s husband. It is actually fun for the show’s leading man who seems to be in a to-n-fro motion from the vamp’s arms to leading lady’s!!! Time taken for this shift is about 50 episodes which is more or less constant for every Ekkta Kkapoor soap opera.

You think of turning the TV off but since you don’t want to face your leading lady who happens to be your wife, you keep TV on. You spend some time guessing what you can watch on TV. Suddenly, a brilliant idea strikes you and you start searching a channel that shows advertisements! Oh yes, ads are the best shows on the TV. Hilarious and short!! One can develop a full story in a 20 second ad which Ekkta Kkapoor might fail to do in 20 episodes of Kkahaani Ghar Ghar Kki.

You watch a proud semi-nude Shah Rukh Khan in a bathtub surrounded by actresses from every age group—right from Hema Malini to Kareena Kapoor. He opens his arms to let his audience know how great he feels while using Lux International. The ladies around him pass contrived smiles. And they want us to buy the soap. Great show SRK and the ladies.

There arrives Virender Sehwag in Reliance’s ad. It still remains a mystery whether his explosive batting or this ad makes him more (un)popular. Let’s see this one. Sehwag is on the crease; six runs to get from the last delivery of the innings (I am not so sure how many times he survives to face the last ball in the innings). Anyway, Sehwag looks tensed, not because he can’t hit a six but because of the monstrous physique of the bowler. He badly wants to win the game for his team but doesn’t know how. Meanwhile, his mother is tensed as well. She sends a call to his sweating son. He doesn’t have the cellphone but someone throws the phone from outside as if it were a cricket ball. The cellphone is good enough to maintain itself in one piece despite being thrown. Sehwag picks it up, listens to some inspiring words from his mother and hits the bowler out of the ground. His team wins, everybody is happy and Sehwag wants us to use Reliance Mobile…why?? Because it helped him win the match!!! Fantastic ad.. Hats off to the composer of this ad. I would like to meet him just to make sure he doesn’t live anymore to create such bizarre ideas.

But forsooth, the two ads which stirred Indian television were Dabur-lal-dant-manjan’s and Lijjat-paapad’s. A young boy, Raju, is in his classroom. The teacher asks him how his teeth shine like pearls. “Arey raju, tumhare daant toh motiyon se bhi tez chamakte hain?” The boy replies—“Kyon na ho masterji, main roz dabur lal dant manjan se jo brush karta hoon.” Raju then sings—“Daanto ki kare hifazat moti sa chamkaye...dabur laal dant manjan se mukhada khil khil jaaye.” It is one of the first few ads people watched on the TV screen. It actually enhanced the sales of this product many folds.

The ad industry which actually needs to work on rendering how a product can make one’s life better and how it is better than its rival companies is working upon showing celebrity faces in the 20 second space! I wonder how much it actually works. Anyway, no matter how poor these ads might be, the fact is that it still is a better idea to watch commercial ads than those shabby soap operas on the screen. Enjoy the show!!!

P.S This is the lighter version of The Ad Effect. I would come up with a much serious version in a couple of days. Till then, enjoy the show!! Err…I mean ads. On your TV, of course.